A Beginner’s Guide to the Gym: Everything You Need to Know

“Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy” -Eminem.

Although Eminem was talking about being nervous before walking into a rap battle, that phrase perfectly described scrawny, terrified, 16-year old Steve the first time I walked into a gym.

20 minutes later I found myself seriously thinking, “Uh oh! Crap. Am I going to die?”

I knew “going to the gym” and “working out” were things that were going to make my life better. I just didn’t know what I was supposed to DO in the gym. I walked in with no plan and left an hour later with a bruised ego and bruised rib cage.

Maybe this is your first Nerd Fitness Article. Perhaps you’re thinking about going to the gym but are afraid, you only use the treadmill in your gym, or you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for years and finally decided, “I’m going to start going to the gym because I know ‘strength training’ and ‘lifting weights’ is good for me.”

Then, you hear that tiny voice in your head:

• “You need to get in shape first before you go to the gym so you don’t look foolish.”
• “Stick to the cardio section. Maybe the machines. Don’t go near the free weights though, that’s for bros and meatheads and bodybuilders.”
• “As long as you don’t try anything new, you can’t mess up. Stick to what you know.”

And that’s what I’m going to cover in today’s article: how to not suck at going to the gym for the first time. This will apply if you just joined a gym this morning, or you’ve been a member at a gym for the past two years but are ready to venture outside of the newbie zone (what you know) and into uncharted territory (the free weights section or something else).

My First Day in the Gym: A Horror Story

I had just been cut from the high school basketball team.

As a high school kid with acne, braces, a sweet flat top haircut, and not a tremendous amount of self-esteem, this was naturally the end of the world. Although I had been cut because I was bad at basketball, I made a plan to “work out” and get big and strong at the gym and make the team the following year.

A few days later, I joined Sportsite, the only gym in Sandwich, MA (yes, that’s actually the name of my hometown). I had no idea what I was doing, or even how to work out. When I walked in the door, my eyes bugged out of my head and my heart started racing.

There were so many machines everywhere! And people running on various forms of cardio equipment! And really strong jacked dudes picking up heavy things.

Here I was, 5’11”, probably 110-120 pounds, and clueless. Like a sheep without a shepherd, I wandered around the gym for 20 minutes, assuming that everybody there was staring at me.

Of course, they weren’t. They would be soon, though, thanks to my idiocy.

Because I didn’t know how to use any of the equipment, and I was scared of face-planting on a treadmill, I did the ONE thing I knew I was supposed to do: bench press!

I walked over to a bench, and proceeded to put 45 pound plates (the big ones) on either side of the bar. Mind you, I’ve never worked out, and now the weight I attempted to lift was heavier than my bodyweight.

I lied down on the bench – no spotter, of course – and proceeded to use my spaghetti arms to lift the weight off the safety supports. Unsurprisingly, the weight immediately plummeted like a sack of hammers onto my rib cage, and I was trapped under the bar. I was now in a full on panic mode. I slowly leaned the bar to the left, and watched as the weight on the bar slowly spiraled off the end. The 45 pound plate fell off the bar to ground, throwing the bar off balance and quickly shifted all the weight to the other side of the bar, where that weight fell off.

Because the free weight section of Sportsite was on the 2nd floor, these weights hitting the floor sounded like two gunshots had just gone off.

Remember how I said I was worried everybody was looking at me before? Now everybody WAS looking at me. I sheepishly put the bar back on the supports, sat up, and pretended like nothing happened – internally I was crying and looking around for a hole to crawl in.

Jim’s Story:

Do you know Jim Bathurst, head trainer at Team Nerd Fitness? One-handed handstand master, super strong, badass Jim? The guy who can now do things like THIS?

He had a first-day horror story just like me! Here’s Jim:

Way back in highschool, when I started lifting weights, I came into the weight room to lift and decided I would bench. The bench was over in the corner – bar up on it with a pair of 45 lb plates on either side. “No problem! Warm up weight!” I thought. What I didn’t see was that someone had left a single 25 lb plate on the outside of one of those 45 lbs plates.

Now, it doesn’t take a math degree to know that 45 lbs on one side and 70 lbs on the other side is a bit uneven. Simultaneous surprise and horror as I unracked the bar and proceeded to dump 70 lbs to one side, and then 45 lbs to the other side, my arms locked out in a combination of terror and self-preservation. Yes, all eyes on me at the point. I wish I could’ve teleported out of there. What did I do? I simply left the gym and never worked out or bench pressed ever again.

J/k – I got stronger, entered powerlifting competitions, and benched 300 lbs:

Lift long enough and every single one of us has probably been embarrassed in the gym in some way (I’ve got plenty of stories).

Both Jim and I have come a LONG way, and we want you to feel comfortable in a gym like we do these days. Confident, excited about your training, and at home in a place that used to terrify you.

Here’s a “Don’t Suck” Plan that will walk you from “wandering sheep” to “confident gym goer” in 4 stages.

But First, Get Your Head Right!

Regardless of your physique, if you are 400 pounds or 100 pounds, going to a regular commercial gym for the first time can be intimidating as hell.

And that’s only if you can get yourself to use 20 Seconds of Courage (A Nerd Fitness rallying cry) to walk in the door!

I know many people who say “gyms are not not for me,” or “gyms are dumb” and never even go in one, simply because gyms can be scary/not welcoming/not cool.

IF YOU DON’T HAVE A GYM MEMBERSHIP, but are looking to start going, here’s how to find the right gym!

Now, if you CAN work up the courage to get in the door, you’ll be faced with the following:

• People dutifully using machines that somewhat resemble medieval torture devices, with pained looks on their faces.
• Others on cardio machines, treadmills, ellipticals, and can already picture yourself wiping out and ending up in a YouTube fail montage.
• Really strong people picking up heavy weights and instantly compare yourself.

If you struggle with self-confidence, or you don’t love how you look in the mirror yet, you might assume that everybody around you will be judging you the whole time and don’t want to subject yourself to this torture – that you need to somehow get in shape FIRST before going to the gym!

Wrong!

If you are going to start using a gym, it’s time to mentally get your head in the right place! Here are some truths you need to know:

1. Everybody around you is just as self-conscious as you are. Yes, that super jacked dude. Or that thin (or jacked), fit woman on the elliptical. They aren’t focused on you, because they’re too busy living inside their own head wondering if everybody is thinking about them.
2. Everybody starts somewhere. You don’t look good so that you can then go to the gym. You go to the gym to get stronger, more confident, and then look good.
3. MOST will applaud you for trying. When I see somebody who is severely overweight at the gym, it makes me happy – they’re trying to better themselves. This is the mentality 90%+ of the people will have.
4. MANY will be too self-focused to even notice you. These are the dudes lifting up their shirt in the mirror to check their abs, doing bicep curls in the squat rack, and/oor making sure they take photos to post on Facebook to prove they did in fact go to the gym. #Fitspo #Instagram #OtherNonsensicalHashtags
5. A RARE few will judge. Though, they’re not just judging you, I promise. They’re judging EVERYBODY around you, because they can’t help but compare themselves to others. This is no different than in real life. Screw these people, haters gonna hate, slaters gonna slate.

Sure, you can say “people are mean, the gym is scary, I just won’t show up.” But then, the terrorists win. And so do those people. And nobody likes those people any way.

Instead, do the following:

• Accept that some people suck (like anywhere in life), and most people are indifferent or focused on being self-conscious themselves. Everybody else will applaud you for trying and being there.
• Make an epic playlist that makes you feel heroic. Wear clothes that you feel great in.
• Keep your headphones on, zone out everybody, and go about your business. You do you. Imagine you’re the only one there.
• 20 seconds of courage, when necessary, to get you to take action.

Stage 1: Get the lay of the land, maybe get on the treadmill

As stated above, the toughest part about going to a gym for the first time is just walking through the door. If you do that, you’ve already gone farther than 74% of the population (a totally made up statistic that I’m using to prove my point), so give yourself a pat on the back.

So on your first day in the gym, just GOING to the gym is a big step in the right direction.

Note: you might need to also change into gym clothes if you’re coming from work. I know walking out onto the floor in gym clothes might be intimidating too (another chance to use 20SoC!).

If you haven’t already done so, ask somebody at the front desk the following:

• “Hey I’m new here, could I get a tour of the gym?” OR
• “Excuse me, today’s my first day, can you point me in the direction of a place I can stretch?” AND
• “Can you help me work the treadmill?”

If you’re able to get a personal tour, great! Ask the treadmill question when you get to them. If they can’t walk you through, just do a lap yourself and see where things are and who is doing what.

When you’re ready, walk over towards the treadmills or stretching area, and do a few basic stretches while continuing to get the lay of the land and see what people are doing (don’t stare excessively). Not sure what to do for stretches? That’s okay!

Start here:

• Roll your head in circles, slowly clockwise, then counterclockwise.
• Slowly roll your shoulders forwards and backwards.
• Keep your legs stationary, and twist your torso, left and right.
• Quad stretch:

• Cross one arm in front your chest, then the other, as demonstrated here by Jim:

These stretches have the awesome side-effect of being able to look around the gym and get the “flow” of things, while still looking busy. Jim STILL uses this “trick” when checking out new gyms.

Really just getting your body moving. If you walked out right now, it’s still a win for Day 1 in a gym.

If you’re up for MORE, consider the next step:

Get on the treadmill and start it up, based on the staff’s instructions. If you weren’t able to get instructions, many have a “quick start” button that will start things up. Too much? Scares you already? Okay, just stick with the stretching and get out of there. When you’re ready, come back and try the treadmill.

Yes, that’s right, I’m telling you to do “cardio” on a machine! (maybe the first time ever on Nerd Fitness!):

Why? It gets you moving, and out of your head! I know you’re smart – you’re reading NERD fitness. But you also probably deal with paralysis by analysis a lot and can overanalyze everything!

So, for your first 10-15 minutes, just walk. Set it at 3mph or 3.5 or whatever speed is comfortable but not too strenuous. Something that gets you moving, gives you a chance to decide what you’ll do next while you look around the gym. (Gives you a chance to get out of your head and stop thinking everyone is looking at you.)

If this is ALL you do, spend 15 minutes walking, and then go home, it’s still a victory. Repeat this as many days in a row that you need to until this starts to feel comfortable and you stop feeling self-conscious.

Scientists, benedictine monks, and german scholars refer to such a thing as a “routine.”

As you get more comfortable, you can can increase your walking speed or length of walking (20 minutes, 60 minutes, whatever)

If I’m gonna walk, I like to crush podcasts while doing so (My favorites: Tim Ferriss Show, Pardon My Take, and Bill Burr). Maybe you do books on tape. Whatever floats your boat.

TO RECAP STAGE ONE:

• Walking through the door makes you a winner.
• Ask for a tour if you need to know where things are!
• Change into workout clothes.
• Stand in one spot, do a few stretches, get the lay of the land.
• Try the treadmill if you’re up for it.

This routine might only be a day for you, or it might be two months of this before you finally feel like you don’t want to jump out of your own skin while in the gym. Going to the gym is the habit I want you to build, so this is a great start.

Stage 2: Join the Bodyweight Brigade!

After getting comfortable with the stretching/treadmill routine, you may want to hop on a weight lifting machine at this point like the leg press or chest press machine.

Is this progress? Sure!

Can you do this? Absolutely!

But, but, but… we are going to recommend you try some bodyweight exercises instead as your next step.

Controlling your body through space is going to be more beneficial in the long run than strapping into a machine and moving through a set path. If you can do bodyweight exercises proficiently, then stepping into a machine is “easy.” The reverse is not always the case.

So, if we’ve convinced you to try some bodyweight exercises, then next thing is to identify a place in the gym you can do bodyweight exercises where you’re not in the way. This oftentimes might double as the place that some people are doing stretches.

If you don’t know, ask the front desk or a trainer! That’s what they’re there for!

So after your 10 minutes on the treadmill, your next step is to go to a place you can do the following:

• 10 bodyweight squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 bodyweight squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 bodyweight squats
• 10 push-ups

Can’t get through it all? No worries, do what you can. If you don’t know how to do those movements well, watch Jim, Staci, and myself show you from the NF YouTube Channel – pick the variation that is right for you!

HOW TO DO A PUSH-UP:

HOW TO DO A SQUAT:

If you did just the above for another month, you’re off to a great start! If you’re feeling frisky and starting to find some comfortability in the gym, it’s time to branch out more!

TO RECAP STAGE 2:

• Warm up on the treadmill with a 10 minute walk
• Find a place where you can do bodyweight movements out of the way
• Complete 3 circuits of 10 push-ups and 10 bodyweight squats each at a pace that works for you.

Stay at this stage as long as you need, until you can move on!

Stage 3: Join the Dumbbell Division

It’s time to wander into the place that strikes fear in the heart of most gym goers: the free weight section. Gulp.

DO NOT FORGET THIS: If you are a 400 pound woman, or 65 years-old, or a 100-pound man, you have just as much of a right to be in the free weight section as anybody else.

It might take yet another 20 Seconds of Courage to wander in there, so I’m challenging you to try it.

After you do your 10 minutes of walking on the treadmill, go to the dumbbell section, grab a single 10 pound dumbbell, and find a flat bench like this:

Stand next to that bench, and make sure nobody is using it. If somebody is at a bench nearby, ask them “is anybody using this bench?” If they say no, put your towel on the bench, your 10 lb dumbbell on it, and stand next to it.

We’re going to add a one arm dumbbell row to our circuit above. You can see skinny-me demo it here:

That’s it! Just one dumbbell exercise! Here’s your new circuit:

• 10 bodyweight squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 one arm dumbbell rows (10 per arm)

Do this circuit once, and then repeat two more times if you’re feeling good.

Congrats! You’ve used dumbbells!

Remember, everybody started somewhere, and we’re just working on getting you comfortable being the free weight section.

Want to continue adding in dumbbells? Let’s add them to the squats. If you’re feeling strong, you can use the same dumbbell to do goblet squats. They’re named as such because it looks like you’re holding a goblet that you don’t want to spill. Here’s a video of Staci and Jim demonstrating the Goblet Squat pulled from our premium course, The Nerd Fitness Academy:

 

So your routine is now 3 circuits of the following:

• 10 goblet squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows/side

If you go to the gym 3x a week, and work your way up to the following routine:

• Light stretch and walk on treadmill for 10 minutes
• Work up to 3 complete circuits of this beginner circuit
• Go home and eat good food and play video games like a boss.

This will put you ahead of 95% of the planet and gym going population as far as on a great path to building a healthy, antifragile, resilient body. Add a little more weight here and there- making the minimal possible jumps each time. Make your push-up variation a little harder over time.

You can stick with the above for MONTHS.

Ready for another upgrade?

The last dumbbell exercise to learn is the dumbbell romanian deadlift (RDL). This is like a cousin of the bodyweight squat where we move through the hips more than the knees. Grab a pair of dumbbells now, push your hips back and bow forward like you’re being polite. Bring the dumbbells to about your knees, not to the ground, then stand back up.

You can see the exercise right here:

Every other workout, swap out the goblet squat for the dumbbell romanian deadlift.

So our circuit is now, alternating with each gym day. Do 3 circuits of each if you can! If the weight is too light, use heavier dumbbells the next time you train.

• 10 goblet squats OR 10 dumbbell romanian deadlifts
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows per arm.

Stage 4: Enlist in the Barbell Battalion

Okay, you’re feeling good in the dumbbell section now. You’ve worked on these exercises and feel a lot stronger. For weeks, or months!

The two final pieces of the puzzle are things I want for you so badly, because I’ve seen how much they have changed my life, Jim’s life, Staci’s life, and the lives of hundreds of thousands of people here at Nerd Fitness:

Picking up a barbell, and learning how to squat and deadlift.

There’s something powerful about old-school strength training with exercises like the back squat and the deadlift. Show me somebody that’s strong at both of these movements, and I’ll show you somebody that’s in better shape than most of the human population.

But wait!

Even an empty barbell can be heavy, if you’re not ready, so before we jump into this deep end, I want you to be able to strongly complete our circuit with the following weights:

• 10 goblet squats – 45 lbs (20Kg dumbbell), 10 RDLs with 20 lbs (9-10 Kg dumbbells)
• 10 push ups (on knees or regular)
• 10 dumbbell rows with each arm  – at least a 20 lb dumbbell

WHEN YOU ARE READY, I want you to read the following:

Strength Training 101: The Squat

And then I want you to find a squat rack (NOT a smith machine):

THIS IS ONE TYPE OF SQUAT RACK (the barbell is NOT connected to apparatus). USE THESE.

THIS IS A SMITH MACHINE (bar is attached to apparatus). AVOID THESE.

If using a squat rack scares the crap out of you, I would wait to attempt your FIRST trip to the squat rack when the gym is nearly empty, or recruit a buddy who knows what they’re doing. If there’s a special day you can go VERY early to the gym, or VERY late, or during the workday, do it then.

I want you to attempt a back squat with JUST the bar (first ask the staff or a trainer how much the bar weighs: most standard barbells weigh 45 lbs (20Kg) but your gym might not have standard barbells).

You can then complete our tried and true circuit – replacing goblet squats with barbell squats.

So our circuit is now:

• 10 barbell squats or 10 dumbbell romanian deadlifts
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows/side

Congrats! You’re using barbells!

Next step? More reading:

Strength Training 101: The Deadlift

The deadlift movements starts with the weight on the ground, and ends with it on the ground. If you’ve got regular, large weights (usually 45 lbs/20 kgs) on each side then the bar sits the proper height off the ground. Some facilities have lighter plates at that same large diameter. Use them.

If you are lifting less weight (or just using the bar to start off) then DON’T do the deadlift from the ground. The bar will be too low to the ground and mess up proper technique. Do the romanian deadlift instead! (Whew, glad we learned that!). Just use a barbell instead!

START WITH LIGHT WEIGHT – JUST the bar. And work on technique. Only then should you start adding more weight, and add it slowly – you’ll be picking up heavy weight in no time, so don’t rush it.

Here’s Staci demonstrating a romanian deadlift with a barbell:

 

Once you’ve started doing these two movements in your routine, your two alternating gym days will look like this. Simply alternate every time you go to the gym (with a day off in between sessions):

DAY A CIRCUIT – 3 rounds of:

• 10 barbell squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows per arm

DAY B CIRCUIT – 3 rounds of:

• 10 barbell romanian deadlifts/regular deadlifts
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows per arm

Stage 5: Where to go from here?

Did I tell you that I’m proud of you yet? I really am, I promise. Your mom is proud too. So is your dad, but he just doesn’t know how to express it.

So now you’re thinking: “Steve, I did a squat. It was terrifying but I did it. I tried deadlifts too and those are kind of fun. What’s next? Give me MOAR!!”

It’s like we’ve finally learned to cook, and now you’re asking for more spices.

What’s a super standard exercise that you see being done in gyms all over? And is amazing for you?

The pull-up!

Not sure how to do one properly? Or you can’t yet? Don’t worry, we have you covered for good technique:

Alternate one arm dumbbell rows with pull-ups or an easier pull-up variation.

So our circuit will be alternating these movements on your A and B Days:

DAY A CIRCUIT – 3 rounds of:

• 10 barbell squats
• 10 push-ups
• 10 pull-ups or pull-up alternatives!

DAY B CIRCUIT – 3 rounds of:

• 10 barbell romanian deadlifts/regular deadlifts
• 10 push-ups
• 10 dumbbell rows per arm

Spice it up further! If you’ve read up to this point, and put the work in, we hope you feel like a gym regular! At this point, throw in or replace another exercise:

Want to do some planks? Put them in the circuit!

Lunges to replace the squats or deadlifts one day? Sounds good!

There are a ton of different options for what to do and where to go if we’ve gotten you more comfortable in the gym, we’ve done our job!

Tips, Tricks, and Knowledge Bombs

Take your time! The above plan might take you months to move through, and that’s okay. I would rather you slowly wade into the water instead of terrifying yourself with the thought of cannonballing into the deep end and never going to the gym to start. So stick with what you know, and then bit by bit, one movement at a time, branch out and try new things.

Do what makes you happy. You might have noticed above I didn’t mention things like bicep curls, bench press, cardio classes, spin class, etc. If those things make you happy, start adding them to the mix. However, if you are only doing those things because you think you are supposed to, don’t! The above 5-Stage strategy combined with a healthy nutritional strategy will get you 95% of the way to where you want to go. I promise. Nerd’s honor.

Write down everything you’re doing. Keep a simple note on your phone, write in a notebook, use Evernote, whatever. Write down what you do so that you know what to do next time. When you get stronger and things feel too easy, you know to move up in weight slowly (and record that too!). Keeping track of everything is one of the easiest and important ways to make progress. Staci, Jim, and I ALL still record our workouts each time, and focus on getting a teeny tiny bit stronger with each session.

It’s better to lift a TOO LIGHT weight than try one that’s TOO HEAVY. You want to finish the workout saying “hey I could do more, this is encouraging” rather than “that was too much, I hurt myself/failed/and I’m demoralized.”

If you don’t know, ask somebody that works there. If you’re worried that you’re using a machine incorrectly, and you’re sheepish and self-conscious about it, ask somebody who works in the gym. Usually there will be trainers that work there walking around the floor – ask them! That’s what they’re there for. They can help you set the safety bars and pins on the squat rack if you’re not sure how. They can tell you how to adjust the seat on a machine, or how the treadmill works. That is what they are there for!

If you want to hire a trainer for a few sessions, it might be a great investment! Here’s how to find a good trainer!

If you are a member at a Planet Fitness or similar gym: Your gym might not allow you to do barbell deadlifts, might not have a squat rack, or ONLY have a Smith Machine. If this is true of your gym, this is okay. You can still get quite strong with the dumbbell workouts and bodyweight movements in Stage 3! And you’ll be that much more prepared when you do start working with barbells.

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Just going to the gym takes courage. Trying a machine for the first time takes courage. Picking up a dumbbell takes courage. Using the squat rack takes a lot of courage. Don’t worry about perfect, or having perfect form or the perfect routine After you finish this article, just START! It’s how we all learn: like scientists trying new experiments and subtly tweaking the variables.

Share your first gym day horror story!

My first day in the gym involved me almost killing myself by way of a barbell on the bench press. And then I came back the next day and tried again. Jim nearly flipped himself off the bench (why is it always the bench?!).

Oh, and by the way – that first day? It was the most important day of my life. It started me down a path of bettering myself, learning how to train, and now running Nerd Fitness for 8 years! I’m so happy I made those mistakes.

Do you have a horror story you can look back on now and laugh? I would love for you to share it below to make your fellow future-first-time-gym-going-Rebels feel better!

We all live inside our own heads, and can talk ourselves into our out of anything. If you have never been to a gym before, and you’re afraid to go, read the stories below.

I bet whatever you have in your head for “the worst that could happen” is not nearly as bad as some of these stories! And who cares how bad things were? They survived and are stronger for it.

If there are any questions we can answer, or if you have any other tips to share with people who are afraid to go to the gym and wander into the free weights section, share below!

Leave your gym “First-Day” horror story below! We’ll pick the top 3 most horrible and mail out signed copies of my book, Level Up Your Life.

Thanks for sharing, and see you in the gym!

-Steve

PS: In case you missed the announcement, doors are currently open for Rising Heroes, our monthly team-based habit building adventure. Enrollment is open til Thursday at midnight!

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photo: lego people looking at barbell, lego storm trooper workout, lego master, scared lego with weight, lego tricep on guitar

source https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/a-beginners-guide-to-the-gym-everything-you-need-to-know/

How Ruth the Physician Lost 10 Sizes and Renewed Her Life

Meet Ruth O’Mahony.

She’s a 49 year old physician-turned health content manager who struggled for years with unhealthy eating, yoyo-dieting, lack of movement, and a constant struggle to stick with anything for more than a few weeks before life got in the way.

This is something we can all relate to!

Although she found Nerd Fitness in early 2015, she spent months telling herself “I’m not ready yet, I’ll get started someday.” So she signed up for our email list, said “eventually!” and did nothing.

Sound familiar? 

After she could barely close the seatbelt on a flight to Disney (where just walking was a chore), her mentality started to change “maybe ‘someday’ will never happen…I need to change my strategy on this.”

Fast Forward 7 months…. and she had a support group to learn from, a basic plan to follow, and excitedly started her push towards a better life.

So WHAT happened?  Why, after 11 months of reading Nerd Fitness did she FINALLY take action? How did she go from “I’ll level up someday” to “I level up every day”? How did she drop 70+ pounds, go down 10+ clothing sizes, and radically transform her life?

Keep reading!

Ruth’s Story

Steve: Hi Ruth! Thanks for being here to share your whole story. I know after a YEAR of reading Nerd Fitness, you finally invested in yourself and joined the Nerd Fitness Academy. I’d love to hear about those first few workouts and diet changes. How did that go when you first started?

Ruth: When I first started the workouts, I couldn’t do all of the reps, so I did what I could. I also had to modify almost all of the exercises. I did pushups from a bookshelf that was high enough that it was effectively the wall. I did box squats and assisted split squats and leaned super heavily on the counter. I took a mindset of ‘can I do a little more?’ with every workout – can I lean on the counter less, can I get a little lower to the floor, can I do one more rep? Trying to do just a little more each time has really led to giant progress.

At this point I was still having “meh” days. I occasionally had a day where part of my brain says: ‘Why is this so HARD?’ but the NF Academy Women’s FB group was awesome when those days hit. I used it as a place to check in, for accountability, for feeling like part of a community on similar journeys. I realized how important that was the first time I posted an ‘I need encouragement, ladies’ thing and IMMEDIATELY got tons of encouragement.

Steve: I love that, because I know how important a community can be that will support and help you (and keep you accountable!). Now I hear, you fell in love with the idea of the Academy Boss Battles. What was it about them?:

Ruth: I remember when I defeated General DOMS [our level 1 boss] and moved on to Level 2 workouts. What was surprising to me is that I shortly after that went on vacation in July and I didn’t get derailed! I walked and WALKED on vacation, and put together a plan to get back into the workouts, which I stuck to. By that time, I’d defeated The Widowmaker, so I went on to level 3…and even tried the GYM!

And since then I eventually scraped up the courage (20 seconds of courage for the win!) to go to the gym I was actually paying for, and I couldn’t even lift my feet to do a proper bar hang at first. Now I can! Now I can do 25 lb farmer’s carries, 6 pushups with decent form, and I use less and less assistance on the pullup machine each day.

Steve: YES! Nothing makes me happier than seeing somebody (male or female) kicking ass in the weight section of the gym. After all, you have just as much of a right to be there as anybody else. High five! 

I want to know, have you tried and failed to get healthy before in the past? What made this time different?

Ruth: I have. I was pretty fit at one point in my late 20s thanks to the US Air Force, but I hated the fact that it was mandated and stopped almost everything when I got out. I tried a few different things in the interim (Tae-Bo, yoga, a treadmill, even a couple of Xbox Kinect games). It was all-or-nothing, boom-or-bust, and nothing to show for it.

Steve: Now, judging by these recent photos you’ve lost a TON of weight. What else has changed about you? 

Ruth: Yeah, I’ve gone from a Size 28 to a Size 18, and I’m doing it SUSTAINABLY!

I can fasten a seatbelt on an airplane without difficulty. I ran around Disney without having to stop and catch my breath – and I walked all over London (so many stairs!) without thinking about “I’m going to get tired, how will I get back to the hotel”.

I can pick up my neighbor’s three and a half year old who is the size of a five year old and swing him around, much to his delight. I lift big boxes into the house rather than waiting for my husband. I have enough energy to car dance – you know, when that awesome song comes on the radio and you dance in your seat?

Steve: Dancing and singing is the #1 reason for having a car. 

Okay so it took Ruth 11 months to get her mindset right, and now she’s a badass! What did she do?

How Ruth Became a Badass

Steve: You adapted a mindset of leveling up and progression that’s helped you get excited to work out. How did those workouts develop?

Ruth: I’m working my through the different levels of Academy workouts, and I’ve ‘levelled up’ almost all of the exercises in that level which keeps me excited about what I can do.

On other days, I’m either walking or doing what I’ll call ‘running training’ every day – three days a week, I’m out in the morning and doing run/walk intervals. I started with CouchTo5K but couldn’t ramp up that quickly. Old me probably would have thrown in the towel. New me bought an interval timer app and constructed custom intervals that ramp me up a little more slowly, but at a pace that works for me.

On the days that I’m not doing that, I’m still walking.

I had a bad week a few weeks ago, and the old me would have given up. New me reached out to the ladies in the NF Academy Facebook group, got reassurance that ‘eh, bad runs happen sometimes, and if it gets to be a pattern, talk to your doc about it,’ and got back out there the next time I was scheduled to do it.

Steve: I love that you’ve got ‘hooked’ on getting better. It’s definitely a mindset shift from “I have to work out” to “I GET to work out…what can I do today?” So talk to me about support. It sounds like you have both one in real life and the online support group too here at NF.

Ruth: Yea, the NF Women’s FB group is an amazing and special group of women – they have been massively supportive.

In my regular day-to-day, I also have two neighbors who have said that if I pick a 5K race, they’ll come run it with me – and they mean really run it with me, every step by my side. The across the street neighbor runs marathons and has said that she HATES running shorter distances, but she wants to support me, so she’ll run a 5K with me!

Steve: Perfect. So that covers your mindset and workout strategy: “get better, surround yourself with supportive people!” Let’s talk about your nutritional strategy!

Ruth: Eat real food, not too much of it, don’t eat too many carbs, and track everything. I use MyFitnessPal and track everything. I kind of find it weirdly freeing.

When my neighbor comes over with dinner, instead of trying to figure out whether or not I should eat that delicious rice dish, I pull up my tracker and I know exactly how much of it fits into my ‘budget.’

I’ve also tried to take a sensible approach on sweets – if there’s a dessert that I know is absolutely phenomenal and it’s a special occasion? I have it, and enjoy every single bite. I eat it mindfully, and savor it, and by doing that, I find that I don’t really want it very often.

Steve: “Eat Real food, and not too much of it” – amazingly simple philosophy. And I love that you don’t feel guilty about eating something that might not be super healthy. It’s a conscious decision to eat it, just like it’s a conscious decision to get right back on track after!

Are there any tricks you used to get yourself to a point where you could follow it regularly?

Ruth: In the beginning I got into the habit of batch cooking things for lunches and making sure I have 2-3 weeks worth of healthy, tasty, homemade frozen lunches, and had really good stuff in the house for breakfasts and dinners. It takes the cognitive load out of eating healthy – AND it actually makes getting breakfast or lunch from a fast food joint into the more difficult option, because I have to get in my car and drive somewhere to acquire the junk food as opposed to eating the healthy thing that’s in my desk at work.

Steve: Brilliant…working smarter, not harder. Make the healthy eating option EASIER, and the fast food even less convenient! Okay, you changed a LOT. What was the toughest change for you to make?

Ruth: I think it was mindset, really. I had to abandon my “all or nothing” mentality because it was sabotaging me! I had to be OK with slow and incremental progress. I had to become okay with taking tiny steps that continually went forward instead of doing everything all at once and flaming out which I had done in the past.

Steve: So, how did you get there? What was the biggest change that helped you succeed

Ruth: Making fitness and nutrition into habits. Habit gets me out of bed at 4:30AM to go for a walk when the motivation fairy has flown off. The motivation fairy is a flaky friend – she never hangs around for long. Habit and discipline get me through and help me chase the Sloth Demon away.

Steve: What about tracking your progress? Did you use a scale, measurements, or photos?

Ruth: I weigh in once a week or every other week, and I measure neck, biceps, bust, under bust, waist, hips, thighs, and calves once a month. I also see my doc as scheduled, and the biochemical measurements are also changing for the better.

Steve: “That which gets measured gets improved.” You’re proving that adage true! What would you tell others in your “start” situation who is ready to try again and succeed this time?

• Know that you are worth it. You deserve to be healthy and fit, you deserve to carve that time out for yourself.
• It is 100% OK to start with tiny baby steps. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk for 10 minutes, try 5. Then build on that.
• Your big why has to be YOUR big why – not what you think society thinks it should be.

Steve: Now that you have conquered this phase of the journey, what’s next?

Ruth: Working on pull-up progressions and handstand progressions on the workout front, also on increasing number of pullups, etc. I just beat “Berserxes the Squat King” and advanced to Level 4 on the NF Academy workouts, so plenty of challenges there!

On the personal development front, I recently finished a foundation course offered by an international organization and found out I’ve been accepted to their content development course starting in January!

Steve: Okay, on to the important stuff: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?

Ruth: I have the White Tree of Gondor tattooed on my left shoulder – so definitely Lord of the Rings. I love both, though!

Steve: Favorite video game of all time?

Ruth: Mass Effect (all three of them, despite the ending of ME3, and I am SUPER STOKED for Mass Effect: Andromeda)

Steve: Quote to live by?

Ruth: ‘Breathe in, breathe out, move on,’ Jimmy Buffett.

How Ruth Did It. How You can too.

 

What made Ruth find success this time where she had failed tons of times in the past? It started with brutal honesty and ALSO self-love:

She accepted where she was starting from and finally knew where she was going: She decided she was worthy of the life she wanted, and realized that it doesn’t have to be “all or nothing” – that just a little bit is better than nothing. And that a little bit consistently, step-by-step, can go a LONG way.

In her words, “When I think about where I was in January 2015 – if you’d told me then that I would be where I am today, I’d have laughed myself sick!” I love that.

She accepted it was tough work, but possible. We all have to start somewhere, and it can be depressing if we don’t see progress right away. If you can stick with it (THANK YOU SUPPORT GROUP!), you can build small habits. One day, you’ll get to a place (and maybe a LOT sooner than you think) where you’re looking back and saying WOW, I did that!

She started. This might be the most important step of all. Ruth spent 11 months reading Nerd Fitness articles before finally giving herself permission to try, fail, stumble, fall, and take baby steps. She could have overwhelmed herself with how far she had to go, so instead she just focused on what she could do TODAY:

• She started walking for at least a half hour every day. (It’s how Tim lost 50 pounds)
• She began making IMMEDIATE incremental changes to her diet. She started tracking her meals, ate a veggie with every meal, and eliminated all white bread.

These changes might seem small, but they added up and made a HUGE difference in a short amount of time. If they seem TOO big of a change to you, make a smaller one!

She gamified her life and fell in love with progress: By tracking her progress rigorously along the way (using the scale and measurements), she could make sure she was still on the right path and course correct when she wasn’t advancing physically (through measurements/photos/scale) or athletically (not making progress or leveling up on the workouts after a while).

Because she knew where she was going, she could make adjustments to her diet or workout strategy and stay on target!

She had a great support team: Life never works out exactly as planned. Shit happens. We get busy. Life gets in the way. If we don’t have a plan to support us during these times, we don’t have an avenue to succeed; it’s that simple!

When things were tough, Ruth had a whole network of people to lean on. The amazingly supportive NF Academy Women’s group and her real life neighbors provided words of encouragement and advice when training got tough or she fell off the wagon.

Follow in Ruth’s Footsteps

If you find yourself in “Before” Ruth’s shoes, here’s what you can do today to change:

• Accept this is NOT all or nothing. Small changes and baby steps will win out in the long run.
• Accept you ARE worthy of a life and body you’re proud of. 
• Acknowledge the journey might be hard, but it is possible and you are capable of change.
• Start. Today. Go for a walk. Eat a vegetable. Be deliberate, but start.
• Track your progress. Photos, measurements, scale. Do so every 2 weeks.
• Get hooked on getting better – you don’t HAVE to work out. You GET to work out.
• Surround yourself with positive people, virtually or in real life, who will support you and keep you accountable.

Don’t wait for January 1st, beach season, or your next big event to start. Ruth needed 11 months to invest in herself before she decided “I might as well get started.”

I want TODAY to be the day you get started. Eat a veggie for lunch and go for a walk. Recruit a buddy on your walk during your lunch break.

And then down the road, I want you to email me YOUR NF success story so you can inspire a few hundred thousand people too.

-Steve

PS: We’re really freaking proud that Ruth applied our mindset, nutritional, and workout strategies from the Nerd Fitness Academy to change her life. I’d be honored if you checked it out and decide if it’s something that could help you on your journey. With over 25,000 students, and a 60-day guarantee, it might be the thing you need.

PPS: Seriously though, just go for a walk. That’s all you need to change your life.

source https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/how-ruth-the-physician-lost-10-sizes-and-renewed-her-life/

Shine a Damn Light

Time has no meaning in this godforsaken cell.

How long have I been sitting here?

Hours?

Days?

The windowless walls feel like they’re closing in around me. A single neon light above gives the room an eerie glow and makes every shadow a distorted monstrosity. There I sit, alone, nervously awaiting whoever comes through a lone door in the corner.

Next to me, a small table full of sharp and twisted instruments that will surely be used to inflict excruciating amounts of pain.

I tell myself to not look at them, and yet I can’t look away.

As I silently curse my predicament, I can’t help but think, “please get this over with.” After all, waiting is the worst part.

Actually, it’s the second worst. The worst, of course, is knowing that I have nobody to blame for this predicament but myself. Afterall, it was my choices that led me here.

The door opens and a woman enters. She quietly puts on a pair of rubber gloves and gives me a look that turns my blood cold. I am convinced her overly pleasant smile is hiding an absolutely masochistic psychosis.

“Hello Stephen. Shall we begin?” she says in an accent that I can’t quite place.

The metal chair activates, and slowly begins to recline into the floor.  

I stare up at the ceiling, slowly close my eyes, and quietly begin to panic.

For the first time in 3 years, I am at the dentist.

Why I hate the Dentist

You’re probably now saying, “Damnit, Steve! I thought you were actually in trouble. You’re just going to the dentist! You are a terrible person and I hope somebody kicks you in the shin today.”

Sorry about that. I promise this has a point and you will learn a valuable life lesson today.

If you couldn’t tell, I hate the dentist. In fact, I would say have an actual phobia of going to one. And last week, for the first time in 3 years, I got my teeth cleaned.

I’m not afraid of the dentist because of the sterility of the building, or because the dentist himself is scary, or the fact that it’s always uncomfortable for me.

It’s more deeply rooted in shame back to my childhood, believe it or not.

When I was younger I used to drink a lot of sugary soda. Sunkist and Sprite were my favorites. Oh and Starburst candy! I also have soft teeth. So it wasn’t surprising that I would eventually get a cavity – I remember it like it was yesterday, because I thought it was the end of the world. I saw it as a major character defect, and if I remember correctly, my mom had to console me that it didn’t make me a broken person. Despite this deep shame I felt about my teeth being imperfect, I didn’t want to accept it.

… And that led to more problems.

Every time I would go to the dentist, it felt like I was playing Russian Roulette. Sometimes I would get a good check-up. Sometimes I would get drilled.

And every time I got drilled, the shame came rushing back. And so going to the dentist became an actual fear of mine.

Every 6 months, I could feel the hairs on my neck instinctively stand up when I found out it was time for my routine cleaning. The car ride to the dentist with my mom felt like William Wallace’s ride to the chopping block: “I don’t know what you’re going to do to me, but please just get it over with.”

It was never the time in the chair that ruined me, it was the anxiety leading up to the moment the dental hygenist would get start.

WORRYING that I would get yelled at, KNOWING that I probably had a cavity, and WAITING for them to decide my teeth’s fate. Sometimes they would drill. Sometimes they would lecture me on flossing. Sometimes I would get a clean bill of health.

Regardless of the outcome, I was a little ball of stress walking in. Every single time.

Now that I’m older, my dental hygiene has significantly improved. I’ve been using an electric toothbrush for years. I don’t drink soda, I don’t eat candy, and I generally take care of my mouth. I even bought those little floss pick things and manage to floss every once and awhile!

And we all know how hard flossing is. Mitch Hedberg said it best:

“People who smoke cigarettes, they say “You don’t know how hard it is to quit smoking.” Yes I do. It’s as hard as it is to start flossing.”

Anyways, my last cavity was in like 2008, and regular visits to the dentist were fine until 2013.

However, since I’ve moved so damn much since starting Nerd Fitness, my insurance has changed a bazillion times, and I have this irrational fear of the dentist, I’ve conveniently been “too busy” to go to the dentist for the past few years.

I used every excuse in the book for years as to why I couldn’t be bothered to get my teeth cleaned. It wasn’t my fault. I just had other things that had to happen first. For YEARS.

Can you see what’s REALLY happening here?

Obviously I know dental hygiene is really important. I have an insurance plan that covers a free teeth cleaning every six months, which means not going is a dumb thing to do. The sooner I go to the dentist, the sooner I can learn if there are any issues, and the sooner I can get rid of any hidden build-up before it becomes a problem.

Logically, I know all of these things. And yet it had been 3 years since my last dental visit.

Why? Because I was afraid.

In my head, I told myself: “If you don’t go to the dentist, then you can’t be told you have a cavity. If you can’t be told you have a cavity, then you don’t have one. Aka you have perfect dental health. There’s no ambiguity or anxiety. Problem solved!”

You might read that sentence and say, “Steve, you are being ridiculous. If you have a cavity, waiting LONGER to deal with it is only making the problem worse. You are a grown man that owns a fitness company. This is absurd.”

To those, people I say, “DON’T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT!?” I’m not saying my thought process is rational or even intelligent here. In fact, I know it’s really really really dumb. I know how important it can be to take care of myself. I go to the gym 4 days per week. I get plenty of sleep! I eat pretty damn well! I really take care of myself.

And yet, my brain convinced me for 3 years to avoid the dentist and thus avoid judgment/pain/acknowledgment that my teeth aren’t perfect.

That is absurd, and yet… here we are.

Last week, my anxiety, shame, and guilt all came flooding back the second I walked down that dental office hallway, past cell after cell, until I reached mine. I felt like a character in the most recent Hostel or Saw movie.

Now, you might have read all of the above and can actually relate: “Ha! I’ve totally done the same thing! Can’t get in trouble if I don’t go right?! Can’t get a cavity if nobody tells me I have one! It’s science.”

Whichever camp you happen to fall in, I have a lesson for you.  

You might not relate to this irrational fear of the dentist, but I bet there’s a darkness your life that you’re avoiding too.

In your relationships, your job, or even looking in the mirror…

What’s hiding in the darkness?

Somebody left a comment on a recent article I wrote about shame, guilt, hero-worship, and offending people: “This isn’t anything that offended me, it just casts a light where I don’t want to look. I’m tired of doing this to myself. I’m done with fooling myself. My belly hitting the desk in front of me has pissed me off for the last time.”

We all do it!

As long as we pretend like whatever is hiding in the darkness doesn’t exist then we don’t have to confront it or deal with it. If we don’t address, acknowledge, or measure it, then we can pretend that this particular thing, obscured by darkness, isn’t real. And thus, we can go on naively innocent assuming all is well.

Even if the last time we looked in the darkness was years ago. Kind of like Schroedinger’s cat… my teeth were both perfect and imperfect at the same time – that as long as I didn’t look in the box both existed and thus I could continue judgment and acknowledgment-free.

And I get it, the darkness is scary!

The Darkness is also an awesome band from the mid 2000s, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m reminded of the amazing dog cartoon you’ve definitely seen – he’s sitting there as a fire engulfs his surroundings. Despite this madness, he’s quietly drinking his coffee saying “this is fine.”

Some might say this is a dog resigned to his fate, like the captain of the Titanic going down with his ship. Might as well enjoy a cup of coffee, saying “this is fine” while the world burns.

Instead, I look at it from a different angle. Mostly because then all of this makes sense, and I can live out my dream of sharing this comic in a NF article and help you live a better life.

What if this dog is refusing to accept the fact that HIS HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN, and instead chooses to tell his brain, “This is fine. All is well. No need to panic.” Of course, had he panicked sooner, he could have just… left the building.   

I am this dog on fire when it comes to my teeth. Everything is fine! Don’t pay attention to your mouth. Just ignore it. If you don’t go to the dentist, you can assume your teeth are as perfect as the last time you had them cleaned. Even if that was years ago and one of your teeth sometimes hurts.

We need to confront the darkness, and we need to do it now. We can’t ignore the obscured parts of our lives we want to avoid and tell ourselves, “This is fine.”

Are you guilty of any of the following rationalizations?:

1. If I don’t step on the scale, then I don’t need to address the fact that I have slowly put on 5 pounds a year for the past decade.
2. If I don’t look at my bank statement, then I don’t need to address how little money I have and need to start saving. YOLOOOOO TIME TO BUY ANOTHER GADGET.
3. If I don’t go to the doctor and get an annual physical, then I don’t have to get yelled at and have him tell me i’m overweight and at risk for Type-2 diabetes.
4. If I don’t check my credit score, then I don’t need to address the fact that I have “the credit score of a homeless ghost” (shout out to New Girl) and address the fact that I have a spending and credit problem.
5. If I don’t tell my kid that I found his drug stash, then I can go on naively assuming he’s still the little angel I raised him to be.
6. If I don’t have this uncomfortable conversation with my partner, then I don’t need to address the fact that I’m in a loveless relationship or that I’m no longer attracted to them.
7. If I don’t go see a therapist then I don’t have to confront the fact that my mom was a shitty parent and I’m doing the same thing to my daughter.
8. If I don’t open my mail or answer my phone, then I can’t talk to the bill collector and avoid the fact that I’m three house payments behind. Lalalalala, can’t hear you.
9. If I don’t take the red pill and see how deep this rabbit hole goes, then I don’t have to address the fact that I’m in a prison for my mind and I can go back to my blissfully ignorant life in The Matrix.

We have dark corners we purposefully avoid, and we don’t want to know what’s in them. Shining a bright powerful spotlight on the thing we don’t want to acknowledge can be horribly PAINFUL.  

In my mind, it’s also the grown-up thing to do. As we all try to do a bit more adulting (even me, at age 32), we need to confront the darkness. After all, we know the truth.

That through avoidance and refusal to peer into that darkness,and the longer we wait to confront what’s hiding in there, the WORSE it gets. That every day we wait to confront the problem, is making our eventual confrontation harder and harder on ourselves A simple cavity becomes sugery. Slightly overweight becomes obese. Obese becomes life threatening. Poor becomes broke.  And the whole time we’re sitting there going “this is fine.”

So help yourself, and go get a big damn flashlight.

Shine a light and own it.

There is a BIG challenge that comes with shining a light on something you’ve purposefully kept hiding in the darkness.

Whatever it is, it might be significantly WORSE than you ever thought possible:

• That the scale is much higher than expected. Like 75 pounds heavier. FML.
• That I actually have less than no money. I can’t believe I bought that crap last week.
• That I have 6 cavities and need to get a tooth pulled. Shit.
• That talking to a therapist absolutely destroys me and digs up all kind of mental issues and years of pain and abuse I’ve been avoiding.
• That I can’t afford this house I’m underwater on, and need to move back home with my parents.
• That this business was a stupid idea, and I need to declare bankruptcy.
• That I am somehow a dog, and sitting in a building that’s actually on fire.
• That I’ve somehow been living in The Matrix this whole time.
• That we have a painful conversation with a spouse who we learn has been cheating on us.

If you’re not prepared for it, if you aren’t ready to handle an answer that MIGHT be worse than you expected… learning the truth might hurt. Badly.

If we’re not careful,, this truth can cause us to sink further into shame or depression. We might feel ashamed of how badly we’ve botched things. Or guilty that we let things get so bad. Or stupid and worthless for not asking for help years earlier instead of suffering in silence.

Which is what we’re all really afraid of, and why we avoid shining the light.

We assume the “not knowing” is safer and less painful than the truth. As long as we don’t know, it can never be worse than we think it could be.  

Unfortunately, the “not knowing” is also what keeps us prisoner, and keeps us from addressing the problem head on, and always leads to more heartache (or toothache, heyo!) for ourselves. And we can’t start solving the problem until we learn what it is, and how big it is.

Which means you need to walk into the darkness with NON-JUDGMENTAL acceptance (a tall order), use 20 seconds of courage, and shine a big damn spotlight on what’s lurking there.

This is the hard part, but also the most important.

Feelings of shame and self-blame are going to rush in. The challenge is not identifying with that stuff. When I felt stupid and embarrassed for not going into the dentist for so long, it was hard not getting caught up in those feelings. But once they pass, the clouds part and you realize: hey, I’m here and owning up to this. I can’t fix yesterday, so I feel pride for finally stepping up and addressing this issue. I’m alive, “this too shall pass.”

So accept responsibility for your actions and say: “Okay, holy crap that is worse than I expected. I am GLAD I caught it now rather than waiting even longer. What can I start doing today to fix this situation?”

In other words, shine a damn light and own it:

DO NOT be mad at yourself for letting it get this bad.  

DO NOT let yourself get depressed about how much further you just realized you have to go to climb out of the hole you suddenly find yourself in.

As Rafiki taught Simba in The Lion King: “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”

DO NOT BE MAD AT HOW BAD THINGS ARE.

INSTEAD, BE PROUD OF YOURSELF for finally stepping up and addressing it.

As the saying goes, you are under no obligation to continue being who you were 5 minutes ago. The OLD you was the one that avoiding addressing these challenges. The OLD you was naive and stupid and young (I don’t care if the OLD you was 5 minutes ago).

The NEW you is older and wiser, and stepping up to take ownership and action.

You still might be scared poopless, but at least you’re doing something about it. Great work.    

Stand tall, aim that big-ass spotlight into the dark corner, and F***ING OWN what you find there.

When you say “Alright, what’s in here? I got this.” it can change your mentality from shame and avoidance to acceptance and action.

Your next step will be to take this new baseline and improve from there. Don’t compare yourself to the past you thought you were before the spotlight (e.g. I needed my teeth were perfect and healthy, but with the spotlight I discovered new problems).

Instead, set a new baseline based on what the light revealed and grow from there:

“I can’t believe I put on 150 pounds” becomes “Okay, I am 350 pounds today. Next stop is 349.”

“I can’t believe I am $35,000 in credit card debt since I got out of college” becomes “Okay, I am starting at $35,000. I can start paying this down immediately. ”

“I used to be [skinny/debt-free/mentally-healthy] and now I am [negative shame-based identity]” becomes “This is where I am today. What can I do right now?”

Thank you for putting up with my dental horror story, now it’s your turn. Please leave a comment and answer the following questions:

Where is the shadow in your life that you previously didn’t want to shine a spotlight on?

Can you use 20 seconds of courage and then write a nonjudgmental sentence about what you’ve revealed?

What’s one action step you’re taking today to start improvement?

For the record, I ended up having to go back to the Dentist Two more times after this most recent visit (only one cavity though!), and I’ve already scheduled the next appointment in my calendar for 6 months from now.

-Steve, smiling

(kind of…my mouth is pretty numb at the moment)

###

Photo: regonold: jail

source https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/shine-a-damn-light/